Thursday, July 28, 2011

Is Kumi's new PV really that bad?//

I recently read, what I will address as a rumor, that one of Kumi Koda's latest music videos is so risque that it will be banned from television.  I call this a rumor because WHAT THE HELL HAVE THEY NOT SEEN HER MUSIC VIDEOS?  After seeing so many shots of her vagina, I just can't bring myself to believe that "KO-SO-KO-SO" goes above beyond, and so I'm going to countdown what I think are the *tries not to use the word "skankiest"* most mature videos of her repertoire.  These will be ranked by video content only, as the lyrics of some might have an unfair advantage and the lyrics of others are just plain retarded and provide no premise for her dancing around in her underwear.

#10 - Feel
Now this video I honestly don't mind.  In my opinion, it's more sensual than sexual, which gets a pass in my book.  Unfortunately, odd numbered lists frighten me so we needed a #10.

#9 - Crazy 4 U
We're getting somewhere here.  Dance a little closely to some random girls in your panties.  Unzip the catsuit to show some breast.  Alright, but it seems a little 90s.

#8 - Hot Stuff
You actually took the time to choreograph unzipping some guy's pants?

#7 - Selfish
Dancing in panties - check.  Oh, riding a guy?  Alright, I see where we're heading...wait, you just ended the video by shoving some guy's head in your crotch?

#6 - But
This video is so ridiculous, but that's what you get for kissing and grinding with some chicks (who really don't seem all that into you).

#5 - Taboo
Here I'm a little pissed I had to put something so intentional on the list, but I can't help it; the whole simulated oral sex just doesn't work for me.

#4 - 今すぐ欲しい/Ima sugu hoshii
I'm used to her writhing around in her panties, but the eye-fucking in this video just makes me uncomfortable.

#3 - D.D.D.
You touched your vagina on camera.

#2 - Juicy
This is where riding a guy's cock becomes the new dance craze.

#1 - Shake It
I give up.  This is skankier than my high school ever was.

I do have to hand it to her; Kumi has tamed down the past few years.  I actually wonder if it has had anything to do with her radio scandal from 2008.  If anyone remembers, she made a joke about women's uteri rotting in their 30s and avex hastily shoved her career in the closet.  I really do like her, enough to own a few of her albums *note own, not downloaded off Jpopsuki*.  She has a beautiful voice and in the end what matters.  Although I do not agree with it, she's the original koakuma, trying to balance out the image of a cute idol with that of a dirty dirty woman.  Because of her history though, I really do have to question if her upcoming video is really as terrible as it is made out to be.  I think the only way to top anything she has ever done is to actually condense those videos into one.  It is not like they have ever harmed anyone before.

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